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Ardor the Game Review


A card game for adults… only two people need only apply, so bring your sense of fun and adventure. It’s Ardor the Game!



We loved loved loved the packaging for this game. Yes it was simple but it was beautifully designed. The exterior box was a gold yellow with a beautiful animated woman throwing all of the Ardor cards out. It has the usual explanation on the back of the box however the explanation on the box does not do it justice. We still loved the simplistic classic way that they designed this package it was perfect.



Game Play

Okay so we totally had to read through the instruction manual first, and as with any game you need to read it to get a good understanding. However once we did this game play was actually broken down very simplistically. There are two phases a “Win your Fantasy” phase in which determines who gets the ” Live your fantasy” phase. It matches suits as well as card types. Which at first we will totally admit seemed pretty confusing but once reading through it it was actually a lot like match the suit in the first phase, and if you couldn’t you’d lose and the other player would get the exp. Also the person that won that hand would get to keep those cards and be able to use them for the “Live your fantasy” portion of the game. We loved the first phase and looked forward to the second.
Phase two, “Live your fantasy” in which you can give your partner cards you collected and they can opt to accept, pass to partner or refuse. However each option costs them exp from the previous round. We found that you could only refuse as player two once if that. It was a fun way to try some new things and see a different side of your partner.



We absolutely loved the artistry of the cards. They are brilliantly thought out and beautifully designed. The graphics were clean and tasteful and they were super easy to read. We loved this about them, being easy to read and understand and being tastefully designed? Bravo Ardor Bravo. We loved that they all offered something new and unique to try and that no game was alike. We both won a couple and lost a couple but it didn’t feel like losing when we lost. We tend to have a super competitive streak. So this was absolutely wonderful, we both loved the game and the beauty it provided.


Our Thoughts

We can’t seem to say enough good things about this game. We are not ones for board games or games in general to spice up our sex life. But this one totally and completely changed our minds. We wish we could share this with more people but unfortunately we can only share it with you. Lucky Lucky You. It was a simple easy to play and FUN game that we both absolutely loved.

The Ratings Game

  • Playability 9/10
  • Desire to Replay 10/10
  • Design 10/10
  • Clarity 9/10
  • Beauty 10/10

So how did it stack up? 96% pretty good we have to say and I’m pretty sure we did say. Well Done Ardor well done, we loved it.


We recieved Ardor the Game in exchange for a honest review, to get your very own click the above logo.

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A Real Neat Blog


Listen here, sports fans! Apparently Lexi over at DeviantKitten nominated us for this real neat blog thingy! I’m super excited because I haven’t been called “neat” in over 20 year. So I’m gonna run through and answer the questions Lexi answered.

Pull up a chair…. Its story time!!!

Well Q&A time to be more exact.

Why did you start blogging? Has it changed over time?

Honestly, we started blogging as an outlet. I have written on other topics before and I find it a release. I think we were looking through reviews on a toy we wanted, and the more I read, the more I wanted to try my hand at it. The rest basically is history!

As far as that having changed, yes it has a bit. I still write as an outlet, but now for so much more. Now that we do this as a couple, we have grown so much closer together. We now spread the message of good sex after marriage, and we promote the use of toys between couples. We are also very passionate, as many of our peers are, about spreading the word of body safe toys.

If your site had a goal, what would it be? How do you feel you’re doing with that goal, right now? How do you feel you’ve done with that goal over all?

Honestly our goal is to have fun and meet awesome new people. So far mission accomplished and it gets better every day!

How has blogging influenced your life?

I know that I have said this, but drawn us closer together. It has made us new friends. Which is probably good, cause I’m not shy about it and my current friends probably think we’re insane!

What is your favourite part about blogging?

The awesome feedback, for sure. I wish we could get more of it!

Are you kinky? How did you come to this conclusion?

We thought we were a fair bit on the kinky side going into this…. We were oh so wrong. Although are showing more and more interest in kinkiest stuff. Electro play, kinda wanna try it!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Easy, a fire truck! Next!

Did you ever see yourself as a ______ blogger? (The blank is for whatever label you give your blog. Sex, kink, dating, etc.)

no, not really, but I’m glad I ended up one.

Gotta ask one toy question. Name your absolute favorite sex toy. (More than one is fine.)

Probably the hitachi wand, tried and true. We want a rechargeable one so bad.

Last one is just for fun. Who is your favorite superhero and why?

Batman, obviously. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a billionaire playboy with gadgets and tights?

Ok, so I’m not sure who’s been nominated or not, but I want to nominate Reenie. Her blog is awesome and you can tell she just has so much fun doing what she does.

Also I want to nominate CarnalQueen if she hasn’t been picked.

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PicoBong Transformer


With the Transformer, PicoBong really set out to create a toy of pure greatness. I mean, this toy could be anything you wanted, from rabbit style vibe to cock ring. Quite literally the only limit of the transformer was your imagination. On paper this looks like greatest sex toy ever made, hell we loved the idea. However, once we received it and tried it out, we quickly began to realize that the final product just couldn’t live up to the idea. With the PicoBong transformer, we had to ask ourselves if a single design flaw can greatly bring down the appeal of a product. Sadly, when the design flaw is in the main feature of the product, then the answer is yes. We didn’t hate the transformer, but it just couldn’t live up to the hype.




The main thing that makes PicoBong’s Transformer so unique is the design, and its where a credit to the amount of innovation PicoBong is attempting is really really due. The Transformer is basically designed as two vibrating bulbs connected by a bendable, shapable cord connecting the two. The cord itself is over a foot long, with the idea that you are supposed to be able to shape it and contour it to fit your needs. Like I said, the only limit is your imagination, its for everyone and doesn’t pigeon hole itself into any specific role. What a thought, huh? I know, I know, after hearing all that we REALLY had to get our hands on this thing. Yea, keep reading.


The Transformer is made of a beautifully smooth and silky silicone. We really have to give it up to pico bong for bring that Lelo-esque quality into PicoBong. Its not just the transformer either, as we have received another thing at the same time that just blows us away in quality. Lelo really is, in our opinion, at the top of the food chain when it comes to quality vibrators, and it really did well staying true to that when releasing the more colourful, fun and inexpensive PicoBong.

Silicone, right. So this guy is made of silicone, which does make it easy to keep clean, and its only made easier by the fact that its waterproof as well. Spray it with your favourite toy cleaner, wash it with antibacterial soap, rinse it with warm water. Easy, thats why we love us some silicone. This toy is also incredibly safe, being hypoallergenic, phthalate free, non-toxic, and non-porous.

The Transformer features 10 unique vibration modes and runs dead silent. I had to strain to hear it across the room, which is pretty damn impressive. With a closed door there is virtually no way that this thing could possibly be heard outside the room. We loved that aspect of the Transformer, and it is quite a credit to what PicoBong can bring to the table.


As mentioned before, it is waterproof. We aren’t usually ones for toys in the bath, unless its a bathtub specific toy, but to each their own. Like i saids it does make cleanup quite a bit easier, not having to worry about where you can and cannot get water, and will the electronics get ruined or not. For some reason, it still does feel odd submerging an electronic toy in water, but like I said we aren’t really the type to take our bedroom toys into the bath.

The PicoBong Transformer is rechargeable, which does differ from other PicoBong items I believe. With this line they have kept away from rechargeable in what i believe is an attempt to keep quality up but prices down. We love our rechargeable toys, but it is nice that more people have access to great quality sex toys without breaking the bank. The one thing that wasn’t included was a storage bag, which I still think should be mandatory by law! I guess PicoBong is just doing their part in encouraging me to learn to sew. Ugh!


Our Opinion

So far the Transformer doesn’t sound all that bad, right? Weeeeeell….. its not all sunshine and Unicorn farts in Transformer Land. We found the one major flaw with this toy was in fact the cord. Im pretty sure its due to the thickness of the cord, it is nearly impossible to keep into a shape that you want, hands free is a near impossible task, and I don’t even know how this is expected to stay around a penis in a cock ring style. Its just doesn’t work very well in execution, and cant live up to the ‘on paper’ design hype. Ever have a bendy Gumby type toy as a kid? remember trying to get it to hold that perfect pose? Yea, its about like that.

But fear not, dear readers. We think we have a suggestion for PicoBong. Its simple, just make the cord narrower. It will increase flexibility, and the added silicone girth the big one has wont force it out of shape as easily. Also, add a damn storage bag!!! Call it Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen….. that hasn’t been done yet, right? (Oh come on, you knew i was gonna make a Transformers reference in here somewhere.) Pro tip PicoBong: keep Michael Bay away from the design floor… no one wants a sex toy that tells you a bad story then explodes. BAM!! Im on a roll today, huh?

I do want to give PicoBong some credit here, they really did aim and really succeeded in making the world first real gender-free toy. Its a huge step that we hope other companies will attempt as well. Great job there PicoBong, we love it when companies can not only think outside the box, but also step outside the norm and throw the box away. We love the forward thinking of this product and challenge all the other companies to do the same. Even though we were super duper thrilled with the PicoBong Transformer, we can’t badmouth PicoBong for stepping outside their comfort zone and really paving the way for a new medium in the industry. Good on you, PicoBong, good show!


Currently the PicoBong Transformer is listed on PicoBongs online store at $149, which providing it lived up to expectations, is about where we would think it should be. We probably wouldn’t buy it in its current form, and would recommend waiting for a sale to pick one of these guys up.



Judgement Time

PicoBong Transformer, you stand facing accusation of the crime of not including a freaking storage bag, how to you plea. Lets have a look at exactly how the PicoBong Transformer did:

  • Quality 8/10
  • Innovation 9/10
  • Design 7/10
  • Practical Use 6/10
  • Willing to Reuse 6/10

72%, seems about right. We didn’t hate it, but we didn’t love it. Its major downfall was the inability to live up to its own hype. If only it was better at doing that, it would of made a mediocre toy extraordinary. It actually makes us kind of sad to have the Transformer receive this rating, because we really really love Lelo and PicoBong’s other products. I guess the question has been answered, a flaw in the toys major feature can in fact drag the entire product down. I will say this, we did not hate the Transformer, it is indeed a fun toy. So if you are interested in one, check them out. You might find you like it better than we did.




We received the PicoBong Transformer in exchange for a honest review. If you would like to check it out for yourself, you can find it at PicoBong’s website by clicking the banner above.

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I Rub My Duckie Review

Rub my duckie


I Rub My Ducky

(Hoodie Kitty Edition)

Review Sponsored by Big Teaze Toys

Rub my ducky, or I can rub my own ducky. All that matters is I have a ducky for the tub and where ever else that no one will blink an eye at. A discreet travel size vibrating ducky that is waterproof and perfect to keep hanging around the bathroom. The I Rub My Ducky by Big Teaze Toys is not only cute, is quite possibly the most innocent looking sex toy we own.


So like we already said this is a travel size ducky, that is waterproof and has a vibration setting of one. Yep thats right folks we said it it only has one setting for you to use. However this is one of the quietest toys that we have come across, not the strongest as far as vibration goes but still a good buzz.

We got the Hoodie Kitty travel size ducky, and the hood is easily removable and washable as well. This is a phthalate, latex and heavy metal free, so it is a body safe toy. It is made out of a body safe ABS plastic which makes it waterproof because of the proofing they put in the seams. This is made for bathtub play but can be used for regular vibration, you can also use whatever lubricant you so desire since it is not a silicone based toy.

We have to say that these are totally cute definitely worth it as they come in various designs, all based around that of a rubber ducky. So thusly they are all duck shaped but can be different there are two sizes travel size as well as regular size. The travel size only has one vibration setting that is moderate at best but still good for clitoral play. However the regular size ducky has a total of three settings which is great for a little variety and has the button on the duckies back. Super ease of use if you want to change speeds when using a full size ducky.

This is the perfect gift for a girl friend, maid of honour or a sorority sister, they come in various designs that are perfect for almost anyones personality. As we said earlier we got the hooded kitty ducky, but there are normal yellow duckies, bondage duckies, a pirate ducky, and a ducky with a beautiful feather boa and swarovski crystal in the beak. So there is a ducky out there for almost anybody, and the glorious part about it that we absolutely loved is it looks like a duck. Yes thats right that was our favourite part, as we have a small child here at home hiding our toys is always a top priority but this one doesn’t need to be hidden. It just goes in with the rest of our duckies, which we do have a few, and no one asks any questions about it.

Our Opinion

Well we loved this little ducky for the novelty/cuteness factor but as far as a usable vibrator it fell a little short. Mrs Tease likes pretty intense strong vibration and this just did not provide that. However the shape of it was perfect for getting pinpoint accuracy of the clitorous. For the cost and what it is, it is an awesome item. Really super easy to use and the batteries are easily accessible while maintaining it’s waterproof appeal. This little ducky was super cute, I can’t say that enough! We loved that you could leave it in the tub or on the edge of the tub and no one would ask what it was. No one had any idea that it was a vibrator at all and for that it gets a win from us.


Who we would recommend this to:

  • Everyone who likes ‘cute’ toys.
  • People who like to masturbate in the tub.


Who I would not recommend this to:

  • The person looking for the be all end all sex toy
  • Anyone looking for lots of power out of their bathtime toys
  • People who hate rubber ducks


We recieved the I Rub My Duckie Hoodie Kitty edition from Big Teaze Toys in exchange for a honest review, to get you very own please use the banner above.

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Bondage Boutique Soft Bondage Kit

Well all of our dear lovely readers we are going to let you in on a little secret, Mr and Mrs Tease enjoy us some bondage some of the time. So we got this lovely bondage kit from our friends at LoveHoney.


Well lets start off with a little about what this kit comes with shall we? It comes with a set of wrist and ankle cuffs, Ball Gag, flogger, blindfold and bondage strap. Thats a lot of bang for your buck, or at least we think so since we have been sourcing and seeking a good bondage set for some time now and they are all super duper expensive for our liking. We loved that this came as a perfect starter set, for those who are looking to get into bondage but are not sure where to begin. Let me tell you please begin right here.

Wrist and ankle cuffs, made out of super safe neoprene with velcro fasteners this made for easy attachment. No mucking about with tying any type of knots or having something hard to manage. The neoprene is also super soft and will provide absolutely zero chaffing, which is good while your squirming around last thing you need is to go into work with rope burns around your wrist. The wrist cuffs can adjust between 6 and 10 inches and the ankle straps can adjust between 7 and 12 inches. We found this was actually a pretty good stretch and fit both parties equally well.

Ball Gag, well where do we start with this? We have found personally that ball gags just amplify sound, but that is just what we have found. The ball is perfect for beginners however being around 4.5inches in diameter and has an adjustable strap. This is perfect for someone just starting out with ball gags. We will be honest though we aren’t a big fan, Mrs Tease just hasn’t been able to deal with it, or needs something more pliable to bite into a little more. Just not our thing but we will keep trying, yet we wish this was one of the first ones we tried we’d be more willing to experiment more.

Flogger, well what can we say? A flogger is a flogger right? Well kind of, this is definitely designed with beginners in mind. It’s made out of a super soft rope with cotton on the end pieces. This makes it perfect for gentle and rough play as well, the handle is bound with a faux leather and has a wrist cuff so you don’t lose it whilst flogging your partner. We really loved this one, it was a perfect mixture of soft, and hard when used firmly. If you are just beginning to venture out into the world of bondage and flogging we highly recommend this one.

Blindfold, we have always had a problem with blindfolds and this was no exception to the rule. It has a super stretchy elastic headband and is made of the same neoprene as the cuffs. However we found it just didn’t fit our face properly and didn’t stay on well. Not to mention HOT… Mrs Tease tends to have some temperature control problems and this combined with the cuffs caused her to heat up intensely and not in the good way. We love a good blindfold but finding one that doesn’t shift around when ones moving has not been an easy task. We liked it and for beginners it would be perfect.

Bondage Strap, well what exactly is this you might ask.Well You can use it in a variety of ways. Use it on its own as it’s own restraint or use it as a furniture restraint, or use it to attach the wrist and ankle cuffs to and make your own hogtie. Really with this one the possibilities are quite endless. Whatever your imagination desires you can make it happen with the bondage strap. Made out of the same material as the cuffs and mask it was a great addition to this kit.

It is also worth noting that for a few bucks more you can get yourself a handy dandy storage bag that conveniently fits all of this gear. This, in our opinion is not just an option, its a MUST. You wont regret the extra cost when you get your kit and are desperately trying to find a way to keep it all in one place. Its nothing special as far as bags go, but who cares? It’s low cost and performs its function successfully. Do it, add the bag option, you will not be sorry!

Our thoughts

All in all what did we think? Well, we went into detail on what we thought about each various item in the descriptions. As a whole however we have to give this kit a great standing, it was the perfect starter kit for anyone wishing to break into the whole bondage scene, or for someone looking for a ‘softer’ bondage kit. Hell its a great buy for anyone just looking for a fun addition to their bedroom. Hint hint, this would be the perfect way to cap off a romantic date night *wink wink*. A great way to experiment with your partner and see who likes what, and a way to break it all apart and use each piece individually. We liked what this kit brought to the table.


The Ratings Game

  • Material                  9/10
  • Usage                    10/10
  • Imagination          9/10
  • Details                   9/10
  • Desire to Reuse 10/10


So how did it stack up? 94%! We loved it, its not a hardcore bondage kit, but for what it is, its perfect. Thanks LoveHoney for such a great soft bondage kit.


We recieved this kit in exchange for a honest review, to get your hands on this or another of the thousands of products Lovehoney carries, please use the banner above!

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Laid D.2 Stone Dildo

Laid D.2


We all know everyone is all about a toy being body safe, that is one of the main factors when choosing a toy, at least for us it is. So when we found the Laid stone dildo we were absolutely itching to get our hands on one. We mean come on, the stone they used for the one we got is approximately 500 million years old. We think that is just the coolest thing ever.



So what exactly can we tell you? We got the Laid D.2, which is made out of a absolute black granite. Being stone it has been cleaned and buffed and shined and made super duper smooth. Also being granite it is a non porous toy so that means it is totally body safe. We loved the feel and the weight of this dildo, it weighed in at about 14.88 ounces or 422 grams whichever you so prefer.


Lets get involved into the shaping of this stone dildo, what does it look like? Well for us it was a curved g spot aimed dildo. We have had problems with g spot dildos in the past, and since this one is made of stone we were expecting similar problems. It provided a very full sensation and because it was not overly textured it didn’t cause any of the scraping problems we usually have with g spot dildos.

Since it is stone and there is no silicone or anything involved anywhere with the dildo you can use whatever lubricant you so desire. Pick something different or something tried and true whatever you like will work. We have a few favourite lubricants and tried both silicone and water based just for trial purposes. We found it didn’t really matter which one you used, so use your favourite or try a new one every time you use it it’s totally up to you.

Washing instructions, well do you really need these? Hot soapy water or your favourite toy cleaner will do the trick quite nicely. The nice people at Laid also include a user manual and a how to use guide. Not that we think that you really need a how to use guide but they covered their bases with everything. The packaging is beautiful and clean lined just like the product itself is.

Our thoughts

What did we think? That’s why we got it right was to really let you know what we thought of it. We tried to find faults in it, and the only thing we could find is it was super firm and Mrs Tease isn’t always a huge fan of this, as when the pelvic wall muscles tighten there is absolutely no give to this at all. However the shaping actually stimulated the g spot and this was super surprising for us considering all the troubles we have had thus far. We love glass based dildos and this one was very similar, the fact that it’s made out of granite means it had a temperature factor. We like something starting off cold and find it’s super stimulating and Mrs Tease really enjoys that. It also holds body heat so you can use it for a bit and stop and use it again and it won’t be stone cold.

The Ratings Game

Design 9/10
Materials 10/10
Function 9/10
Desire to Reuse 10/10
Length 10/10

96%! We were very pleased with the way this toy reacted and how it felt to use. Simple and elegant and beautiful, what more could you ask for?


We received our Laid D.2 Stone Dildo in exchange for a honest review from one of our absolute favourite retailers, SexyTimeToys. We can’t recommend the store enough! To get your very own Laid D.2 Stone Dildo, click the banner above!

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Sweet Treats Ripple by Si Novelties

Si Novelties Sweet Treats Ripple

Hi readers, I just wanted to take a minute and recommend this sweet little treat. Its the Sweet Treats Ripple from Si Novelties. Its a small mini gspot vibe textured vibe with about 4 inches of insertable length. It is made out of non toxic silicone that is phthalate free, non porous and even waterproof.

This little gem was sent to us by Si Novelties, and while we didnt expect much, it did surprise us quite a bit. On our quest to find good quality sex toys at an affordable price, we think this little Sweet Treats Ripple fits just that bill. While small, this little vibe has 10 seperate features to treat you, and we think it may be one of the best entry level gspot vibrators we’ve come across in a long time.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for this hidden gem.

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Ten questions anyone in a relationship should be constantly asking themselves.

10. Can I picture my partner and I growing old together?

9. What do I believe my partner loves about me?

8. Do I ever ask my partner what they love about me

7. What do I love about my partner?

6. Do I ever tell my partner what I love about them?

5. When was the last time we spent time just enjoying each other?

4. Do I try to put them ahead of myself enough?

3. Do I try to express my love enough?

2. Do I take the time to see our lives through their eyes?

1. What could I do to make my partner smile?

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Wand Wars: Svakom Emma

Wand Wars: Svakom Emma

How many times have you thought to yourself that having a wand that heats itself up would be a stellar idea? Ok, so maybe the thoughts never crossed your mind, but now that I’ve put it out there doesn’t it sound awesome? Well, that’s exactly what Svakom has done with their wand Emma. They also did it very well, in fact if they had done all the features as well as this one, it would be at the top of our favourite mid-sized wand wars list. We loved the Svakom Emma Heating Wand, that is when we weren’t debating smashing it with a hammer. Emma, what we have is a love-hate relationship.


The Emma heating wand is made of silky smooth body safe silicone, which is perfect as its non-porous, phthalate free, and really easy to clean. Because it is waterproof, you can just wash with antibacterial and rinse with warm water. No worries about damaging this product with water, as it’s designed to be able to join you in the shower.

Included in the package with the wand is a silicone slip on attachment “rabbit”, which basically equates to a bunny ear hat for your wand. The rabbit attachment was ok at best and was totally unnecessary in our opinion. We found the vibrations translated decently down the ears, but being more fans of power, it dampened it too much for us. The wand was pretty good without it, and I doubt the rabbit attachment will see much if any use from us. As we always say though, to each their own, who knows you might like it.

I will say the great thing about this wand is it is absolutely PACKED with features. Like I said, the heating feature is incredibly innovative and very well executed. It heats up to a toasty 38C (100F). The tip does not get too hot to the touch, as the silicone helps keep it at a comfortable level. It sounds like such an odd feature, but works SO well.

One other notable feature on the Emma Heating Wand is what Svakom has come to call “intelligent mode”. Basically it simulates the ‘phases’ of sex through vibrations, building from teasing or foreplay all the way through earth shattering climaxes. It runs almost like a vibrating story for your vulva, and is an incredibly interesting experience. Normally we are not ones for ‘pattern’ modes in vibrators, but we thought this is pretty cool and enjoyed it quite a bit. Don’t worry though, this is just a feature and you still have your standard modes as well.

Svakom is so proud of this product that they offer a 1 year warranty then top THAT off with a subsequent 10 year guarantee. If the one year warranty is up, and something happens to your Emma Heating Wand, let Svakom know and you could receive 50% off your next Svakom product. Not bad, eh?



Right now Svakom has this listed at $99 on their website. Considering I’ve seen similar sized wands with none of these extra features…. Yea that’s a hell of a deal. Go buy one, quickly. Ok, finish the review, I’ll drop a link to them…. THEN you can go buy one.

Our Thoughts

This is one hell of a wand, with quite a lot of amazing innovative features. But then why did we say earlier that it was a love/hate kind of relationship? Well, it’s mostly a personal issue but we weren’t too impressed with the button layout. It’s not very intuitive, it’s not easy to switch mid-play without accidentally activating the wrong mode. We just found it weird. However the more we use it the easier it is to get the hang of, we just like to see something that’s very user friendly straight of the box. I wouldn’t even go so far as to say it really takes too much away from the good of this wand, but it can be quite frustrating until you get the hang of it, and maybe even a little after.

The Verdict

Well, I think it’s time to put the heating wand into the hot seat, don’t you? Emma baby, let’s see what you got!

Design. 8/10

Innovation. 10/10

Quality 9/10

Aesthetics 8/10

Warm Fuzzy Feelings 10/10

90%! Great job Svakom, this truly is one of the best mid-sized wands on the market, we’ve found. Not to mention it’s a steal at $99, it absolutely gets a recommendation from us. We love you Emma, but we hate you, no.. We love you.

See what I mean?






The Svakom Emma was send to us for a honest review in our Wand Wars segment. Have a look at their Facebook page. To pick up your own Emma click the banner above.

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The misadventures of the giant non-sexual dildo named Ned!

Born near the California border of Western Nevada, a dildo was born. But not just any dildo, a dildo looking for love. You see, it’s not that Ned couldn’t find women, it’s that no woman could tame Ned.

Having little to no luck in his hometown, Ned decided it was time for a change of scenery. So he packed up his balls, and headed North. After a brief stop in Seattle, and another crossing the border into Canada, Ned found himself amidst the mountains of beautiful British Columbia.

Having wandered over the mountains, Ned found himself to the doorstep of a couple who generously took him in. From then on Ned has just tried to fit in, adapt to normal life, and continue his ever burdened search for love.

Welcome to ‘The misadventures of the giant non-sexual dildo named Ned!’