Cock rings, I love you, but why do you hate me so. I use have issues with cock rings being too tight. I know, I know, they are supposed to be, so hold onto that hate mail and let me explain. You see, I like a nice squeeze, but I don’t like to feel like my penis is about to pop.. And I damn sure don’t like the panic of “it’s too tight, should I cut it off” afterward. Cock and ball rings even more so… I have NEVER found a cock and ball ring that works for me, so I had little hope for Tantus’ super soft c-ring, but I wanted to give it a fair shot anyhow. Mini review time!
The Tantus super soft c-ring is made with pure high quality silicone (once again Tantus, thank you for that!). It’s easy to clean, easy to store in its original packaging, and doesn’t have any unwanted chemicals that might scorch your manhood. I cannot attest to how easily it goes on and off pubic hair (I’m neatly groomed) but it does come off well shaven skin with relative ease and is indeed, super soft.
My problem was not only was it a real challenge to get on, you have to attempt to do so aroused. So standing there thinking of baseball and kittens, I attempted to stretch the cock ring over my full meal deal, then reattempted, then reattempted. Finally I got it on, which was very short lived, it was just too tight for me! It’s super stretchy, but once it resumes its original size it’s not very discriminate on what it take out with it! Five times I tried, five times I failed. I tried putting it around my scrotum, that kinda worked. I tried using it as a penis only ring, and as that I actually liked it! So my insanely awful cock and balls ring became a very nice cock only cock ring. I’ve actually used it a few times as such and really enjoyed it, probably not my favourite, but it’s up there for sure!
As for it’s intended use, it didn’t work for me, but it very well may work for you. If you like the idea of grabbing your unit so tight it turns dark purple, may I introduce you to your new friend! Hey if it’s too tight for your cock and balls, you might find a nice new cock ring out of the deal. I did!
That’s it for this mini review, if you would like to find us, follow us on Twitter @TeaseForTwo
For your very own Tantus Super Soft C-ring, click the Tantus pic above.
Tantus gave us this item in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.
To find more from us, follow us on Twitter @TeaseForTwo
50 shades of play? 50 speeds of grey? 50 speeds of play! No grey area here… well ok the vibe IS grey, but you know what I mean. Rocks Off took their already amazing 160mm vibe and up’ed the stakes. 50 functions, 50! If i took 8 other vibrators we own, put them all together I MIGHT have 50 functions between them. Rocks Off truly made a standard slim vibe and made it so it can almost never get boring, and we applaud them for that. We loved the 50 speeds grey, let us count the ways… spoiler alert: THERE’S 50!
Product & Design
Made of a body safe ABS plastic and boasting a grey steel design, the 50 speeds of play is Rocks Off 160mm vibe reimagined to a 50 shades inspired powerhouse. Being made of ABS plastic means you can use your lube of choice, and also means cleanup if a breeze. Just warm water and soap, and no need to worry about getting it wet… its waterproof.
The Design is a standard slim vibe design, nothing really fancy. We normally steer clear of the style, usually preferring a toy with more shape and texture. However it was surprisingly fun, not only because of the ludicrous amount of functions, but because it feature one hell of an impressive motor. Its actually incredible just how much power these 2x AA batteries pump out. I think we would have preferred it to be rechargeable, but this is more of a personal preference. That and a storage bag, but thats my usual complaint, is think everything should come with a storage pouch.
As far as size goes, it is 160mm x 20mm, which is approx 6.3 inches long, but in reality it has an insertable length of about 5 inches. It has a max width of 1.25 inches and a max girth of 4inches. It’s not a huge bullet, and would be a great choice for first time buyers as well as sex toy aficionados.
Other than the lack of storage bag (I seriously think i’m going to take up sewing) the only slight complaint I can think of is that it could stand to be a bit quieter. Not that its overly loud, but it does make a fair bit of sound.
I was talking to a friend very recently about the cost of quality toys, and I recommended Rocks Off to her. I know sometimes when we post reviews peoples reaction might be “thats great, but I don’t have $200 to drop on a toy right now”, well kids, let me tell ya bout some Rocks Off. This vibe right now is listed at PinkCherry.com for $60. That’s a hell of a deal for such a quality sex toy! Check them out, they are great for people on a budget, or just anyone in general. Theres very little these guys can seem to do wrong, and we think its awesome. Kudos Rocks Off for making a quality toy that is well within most anyones price range.
So 50 Speeds, how’d ya do? Lets have a look shall we:
We liked it, I dare say we loved it. Thats saying something, because this is the first slim style vibe that we have EVER liked, but Rocks Off is starting to show us theres more to the style than just yawns. I would totally recommend this vibe to just about anyone that loves slim style vibes, or vibration patterns, or those looking for a luxury quality sex toy without emptying their bank account for it! Welcome to our family 50 Speeds, you will see lots of use.
Dragons are beautiful creatures and our friends over at Bad Dragon have amplified that into a male masturbator sleeve in the Janine. Beautiful regal and pristine it’s all you could ever ask for in a sleeve.
Made out of a completely body safe silicone, Janine is one of the most beautiful male sleeves we have ever seen. We chose to get it in the pale blue that is on the website, yeah the blue one with the pale pastel pink? that one is identical to the one we got. Since it is a silicone product like all silicone products we like to send out a friendly warning, use water based lubricant. Especially with a sleeve like this where a silicone lubricant could cause the interior to warp and not be as textured. Use caution and your favourite water based lubricant if you want to keep this toy working as well as it was always intended.
The insertable length of it was comfortable and stretched well so it would be good for most sizes. It’s full insertable length runs at about 7.25 inches, which is well within the normal standards. The inside is also beautifully textured from the first inch to the last, it doesn’t matter where you get the same pleasurable feel from it. We have had issues before with the texture not starting right at the entry and with Janine it most certainly did.
We have had this problem before but since it did not come with the case the fleshlight does it did absorb body heat from the hands. So it wasn’t nearly as cold and gross feeling as we first thought. Well at first it was but then it warmed up reasonably quickly with warm hands and warm body parts. This was a definite plus because cold silicone rubbing along your penis is not a really fun thing to deal with. Mrs Tease was a bit thrown that it didn’t come with the case but all in all we have to say that we really did like it.
Now it comes down to something very specific about Bad Dragon, everything every inch of the process is completely customizable. We got a couple things from them and it was one of the most in depth ordering processes we have ever experienced. We felt a little stupid during some of it, but luckily for us we had someone that was willing to help us figure things out. Bad Dragon has excellent customer service, and they seem to understand that your first order can be a bit overwhelming, there are tons and tons of options! You can pick custom colours, firmness and you can also add on things like lubricant and toy cleaner. All in all it was a learning experience to order from Bad Dragon but we loved how in depth everything was and how we could customize every inch of our toy if we so desired to.
So what did we think? Well we are definite lovers of the fleshlight so when it came a chance to try out Janine we jumped all over it. We must say that they probably surpassed fleshlight in some ways. You read that right, we like this even better than Fleshlight in some ways. There wasn’t the cold clamminess, and it wasn’t as weighty . So it was easier to use and stroke over your penis, or have someone else do for you without their arms tiring out. We loved the texture, we are definitely texture people around here and the Janine did not disappoint. It also didn’t require as much lubricant as we thought it would either, we don’t know if thats the Janine itself or just the lubricant we like now, either way it was a totally pleasant surprise. We loved the colour it came it it was a thing of beauty, like a regal princess or something.
The Ratings Game
Ease of Use 10/10
Desire to Reuse 10/10
Can you tell we really loved Janine? 98% yep we definitely loved her and there was almost nothing we would change.
We recieved the Janine from Bad Dragon in exchange for a honest review, to get your own, please click the banner above.
Here we are, part 2 of our Sh! Rabbit run. So, rabbits get a bad rap, seen as old and useless by many other sex toy bloggers. Well, We wanted to prove them wrong. We set out on a quest to find a good rabbit that we could get behind… Or in front of, or around? As this toys case may be. We didn’t have to search long before our friends at Sh! Women’s told us they made a rabbit to end all rabbits, and they weren’t kidding! This is very easily one of, if no THE best rabbit vibrator we’ve ever had. Hold on to your butts, were goin’ wabbit hunting!
One of the only downfalls we found with the Sh! Jessica Rabbit was it takes batteries, and we love rechargeable. It’s a minor thing but it does make all the difference to us, for some stupid reason, probably cause when we find a toy we like the cost of batteries can add up. Sh! If you are reading this, rechargeable version, silicone and throw in a storage pouch and you have yourself the best rabbit vibrator in town! We’d be happy to test it out for ya too.
This bad boy offers 6 inches of length, a 1.6 inch diameter shaft at its widest, and 10 varieties of vibration modes. It’s made of a body safe Thermoplastic elastomer, and while that means it’s latex and phthalate free, it also means there is a risk of it being porous and can never be fully sanitized. So always make sure you wash very well with warm water and a mild antibacterial soap, and never ever share this toy without a condom. Seriously people, be safe not stupid.
Why would we say this is nearly the best rabbit vibrator, because it is nearly the best rabbit vibrator! Seriously, unlike the Sh! Gspot Rabbit, this vibe really hit the spot…. The gspot. Guess what, it also rested nicely on the clitoris! Dual stimulation from a vibe that doesn’t boast gspot stimulation… This toy really went above and beyond.
It rumbles and felt oh so nice, it even had mrs tease clenching the sheets, wiggling in delight! Not bad considering this vibe ring in at about $60 USD, it really does the job better than some $100+ vibes. Once again, it is by far the best rabbit vibrator we’ve seen in a long long time! So what are you doing here? Go get one! No wait….. WAIT!!!
One last thing first, then you can head on over to Sh! Women’s website, ok? I promise!
There you have it, our thoughts on the Sh! Jessica Rabbit, one of, if not the best rabbit vibrator we’ve come across in a while. Do you have one? Share your thoughts! Think you got something better? Let us know! But in the meantime head on over to Sh! And try it for yourself!
We received the Sh! Jessica Rabbit from Sh! Women’s store in exchange for a honest and unbiased review. If you’d like one of your own, or for more great products simply click the Sh! Logo above.
Claiming your toy is “Better than chocolate” is brazen, naming your sex toy “Better than chocolate” is just outright bold. But can Nomi Tangs little clitoral vibe really live up to its name? Can this little toy, which can easily fit in the palm of your hand, be worthy of such a claim? We sought to find out, and we liked what we found. Today we’re going to have a look at Nomi Tang “Better than Chocolate 2”. So grab some bon bons, lets get to it!
This little device is just that, surprisingly small. It measures a mere 3.5inches long and comes in at just shy of 2 inches wide. I’m pretty sure every picture of this device ive seen only does NOT do the size justice. Its tiny, like stick of gum tiny. After the initial surprise wore off and the more we thought about it, the more we actually thought we’d end up loving its small stature. Just an FYI, we were right.
Made of a soft silicone and completely waterproof, the Better Than Chocolate 2 looks like it was modelled after the shape of a manta ray. A thin design with outward curving wings, it easily fits in multiple places and is comfortable and not cumbersome in the least bit. This makes it nearly ideal for solo or couples play, and can easily fit many areas of the body, either sex. The only downside is because of its smaller size, unless you were wearing undies it is nearly impossible to achieve any sort of hands free play.
Being made of medical silicone, its always best to use a quality water based lube during play. Or just water, because this little vibe is waterproof and can be submerged in water. the usb recharger seems to push aside a silicone flap when plugged in, but when uncovered it comes back into place, making bathtime free for any worry about damaging the toy.
The one very interesting feature of this product is the speed adjustment. Aside from the 5 different modes, the Better Than Chocolate 2 freatures a slide bar which, when you slide your finger up and down, increases or decreases power. We found that it took several passes to make the vibe go from minimum vibration to maximum throttle, but did enjoy the idea of ‘petting’ it to make it more intense. Its an option thats completely different from the standard two-button designs, and as odd as it was, it was a welcome change.
We actually used this as couples play, it makes a great tease item, and is surprisingly strong. It wasn’t obstructive enough to hinder regular intercourse, but wasn’t small enough to suffer in quality or strength. After using it, we did honestly find it to be more comfortable than most bullets. However, we like broad clitoral stimulation with pressure, so if you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation you might find yourself only using an end on this toy, rather than the entire toy. All in all it was fun, it was different, and it was probably not better than chocolate… but who cares, it brings orgasms. I guess that in itself makes it better than chocolate, but we would gladly take either!
Well Better Than Chocolate 2, lets see how you did…
92%! We like it! If all toys were this well thought out, the world would be a happier place. The only issue with the Better Than Chocolate 2 was that while strong, we would have loved more. Nomi Tang, you did not disappoint. At just under $90, this is a pretty good product if you are looking to add in clitoral stimulation into your regular sex, or just want something neat to be paired up with your favourite vibrator. We enjoyed, who knows you may too!
We we recieved the Better Than Chocolate 2 from Nomi Tang in exchange for a honest review.
We recently got our hands on the Blue Moon by Touch of Glass, and it is something special. Not only is glass in our opinion, one of the most underrated materials used in toys, but Touch of Glass really kicks it up two or three levels. Excellent quality, hand made, knock your socks off design, and all around gorgeous toys seem to be this companies calling card. There’s very little to complain about when it comes to the Blue Moon, and yes it’s going to be one of those “Why the HELL don’t you have one of these?!” type of reviews. So strap in, it’s time to howl at (well about) the Blue Moon.
Yep, the material in this toy is so good, it deserves its own section. I’m pretty sure we could go on for hours about this glass, but we’ll try to keep it restrained a little bit. Touch of glass only uses the finest quality glass, known as borosilicate glass. So not that cheap soda-lime department store glass, this is the real deal. Not only do they use such high quality glass, but they use only the most pure, durable borosilicate glass. Simply put, when it comes to glass for sex toys, this stuff is the best of the best. It’s so tough, that Touch of Glass even offers a full unconditional lifetime warranty, and how many of your current toys have that?
High quality glass toys are some of the safest toys out there. Non-porous, non-toxic, phthalate free, hypoallergenic, easy to clean and it reads books to orphans at the library every weekend. It is resistant to bumps and drops, and realistically should not break, however if it does break it won’t shatter it will most likely break in two. If it does ever chip, please stop using and contact Touch of Glass.
It’s worth mentioning that the Blue Moon can be used with ANY type of lube, and in most cases none at all. You don’t risk damaging it with others, and all lubes wash off with ease. As far as cleaning the Blue Moon, use warm soap and water to clean. If sterilization is needed it can be run in the dishwasher, just make sure you give it a good rinse after.
The Blue Moon is a gorgeous design, with three inline balls that leads into a length featured a raised swirl texture wrapped down to the end. We love texture, and this is a texture lovers dream come true.
We have to give real credit to whoever handmade this, it really is a work of art. It has a fair bit of weight to it, and really feels like a quality piece. The end ball is a stunning dark blue, and this toy is almost as fun to admire as it is to use.
However it does not have a flat base, so we encourage vaginal use only.
We really love the texture, quality and beauty of this piece. It has basically sparked an obsession with Touch of Glass toys. Gotta have ’em all! The first thing we did notice about the Blue Moon was the $85ish USD price tags. It is not cheap… But it’s also not cheap! You’re paying for quality and craftsmanship. It’s actually a steal when you consider that with proper care you could easily use this toy for years if not a lifetime.
The other note we did want to touch on is that, at least for us, it was deceptively small. Though this mostly our own fault, they do list the measurements on the store site. We knew what to expect, but it did still surprise us a little. With that being said it does the just extra well! We would love to see a wider version of this exact model. Nothing massive, just a bit bigger.
Oh yea, best thing ever… It comes with its own drawstring bag! Yay!
Length. 8 inches
Insertable. 7 inches
Shaft Width. 1 inch
Max Width. 1.4 inches
Blue Moooooon, you saw me standing aloooooone…. Yea enough of that, it’s Verdict Time!
Will we reuse? 10/10
98%, yea it’s that good! The 2% was just based on personal size presence so your results may very, we just thought it would have been the perfect glass dildo if it was a little wider. We really enjoyed the Blue Moon, can’t ya tell? This is probably the nicest and most fun glass dildo we have, and we love our glass so that’s saying something! Absolutely no question about it, we would recommend this toy to anyone and everyone!
We recieved the Blue Moon in exchange for a honest review.To get you hands on this wonderful piece, please click the banner above.
We always love glass or similar products, they are such fun products to work with and test out. They hold temperature exceptionally well, so depending on your preference it can start out cool and warm up with the bodies heat. Or start warmer and play as it cools. Really its up to whatever you want to try out, the skies the limit! However if you like something with some give to it glass is not the way to go as it is glass so there is no give to it whatsoever. So let’s get into the nitty gritty of this specific dildo shall we?
The Cherries Jubilee is made out of Pyrex glass which is extremely durable, used in cooking vessels and surgical tools. However that being said it can become damaged when rubbed up harshly against another glass object or ceramics etc. Although, since it is glass, it is non-porous and relatively safe to use. It can be cleaned easily in hot water or even sanitized in the dishwasher. The glass surface is quite smooth except for the bumps and ridges and we found you definitely don’t need to use as much lubricant as with other materials. Lubricant wise since this is a glass toy you are free to use whatever lubricant suites your needs and the needs of your partner.
This is a textured dildo so if you don’t like texture we suggest you find one that more suits your individual needs. This measures at about 8 inches long with a shaft diameter of an inch and a bulb diameter of 1.5 inches. It is not to big at all in fact we really appreciated the size of this. The bumps and ridges were not to overly pronounced but enough that you definitely felt them. The whole piece is curved so it hits all the right spots with all the right textures.
This was great for solo play and with a partner since glass carries vibration you can also pair it with your favourite vibrator or cock ring nestled up against it. We thoroughly enjoyed playing with it and putting it through its paces. So if you like a firm textured dildo we highly suggest giving this one a try.
We recieved the Cherries Jubilee dildo from LoveDreamer in exchange for a honest review, to get your very own please click the banner above.
I guess when we started reviewing sex toys we never imagined we would be reviewing bed sheets, but when we saw the Exxxtreme Sheets by Si Novelties we knew we had to try them out. Tough enough to play on, but soft enough to sleep on, the Exxxtreme Sheets were a huge hit with us. As a bit of a side note though, since we wet sent both the sheets and pillowcases, but they are so similar the review actually works for both. So let’s jump right in, shall we? Welcome to the Exxxtreme Sheets Review!
The Exxxtreme Sheets and Pillowcases are made of a black rubber with a fabric backing. This means they are great for keeping clean and 100% waterproof. Anything spilt on the fabric can be wiped away, even oil based lube. They are also machine washable,which is nice. Just wash with cold water and detergent and hang fabric side out to dry. The manufacturer advises against any kind of fabric softener of bleach.
We put these sheets to the yeast a number of times. Not only in use but also just intentionally spilling stuff on it to see what it could do. Massage oils, lubes of all kinds, Nuru Gel, even a full cup of water. I’m happy to say it easily holds up through all of those. These are some pretty cool sheets.
The other thing Exxxtreme Sheets claims is that they are soft enough to sleep on, so we figured we would try this out as well. It is surprising how comfortable these sheets are. They are less tacky then I thought they were, and that’s probably because I keep thinking they are a vinyl material. We could probably nap on them comfortably, but it is the middle of June, and I’ll stick with my Coolmax style sheets, thanks. Ultimately it doesn’t matter I suppose, as these sheets weren’t built for sleeping. They were built for the wettest, wildest sex you’ve ever had. The kind that once you’re done, you could sleep like a baby I a bed of coals. Very few people are buying these guys with the thought of a good nights rest, but hey maybe it’s just me.
Exxxtreme Sheets and pillowcases come in almost every size to fit your need. The sheets themselves can be bought in Full, Queen, King and California King. The pillowcases can be bought in Standard or King. The sheets have a small bit of stretch to them, so they can fit easily over most mattresses.
The only reason I say ‘most’ is because we did have a small issue at first fitting it onto ours. We have a King sized box top style mattress, so in addition to the standard mattress it has a 3 inch pillow top. We normally can’t use standard sized sheets and have to grab the ‘deep pocket’ version. While this sheet wouldn’t fit totally on our mattress it did fit over the pillow top, and worked just fine. Not a huge deal, but it is something to be aware of. If you require deeper sheets, you may want to go up a size and tuck it just to be safe.. Unless you have a king sized bed like us, in which case it’s easy enough to make due.
How could we not love these? Seriously, they open up a whole new world of messy messy play that we were apprehensive about beforehand. Don’t believe me? Get a set, lube up and have the best slip n’ sex of your life. Other than wishing they were a little deeper on the sides, we couldn’t ask for more.
We were exxxtemely impressed with how comfy and how durable these sheets are. Our friends over at Adultempire are featuring these sheets for $113 for the queen size, and while that may sound pricey, we believe it’s WELL worth it. These things will be seeing a lot of use from us! Good job, Si Novelties.
It’s really hard to give these guys a number rating due to what they are, I mean for sex compared to other normal sheets they’d get a 100%, but we’ve never tried anything like it to have a comparison. They are magnificent and if they interest you in the slightest, get them today! Seriously, I’m not sure we’ve had sex this fun in a very very long time, and the possibilities are pretty much endless. We would easily spend the cash that these guys cost, so if you’re hesitant you can rest assured, it is a good buy.
We we recieved our sheets from Si Novelties in exchange for a honest review. To find yourself some sheets, click the Adult Empire banner above.
We happened to be lucky enough to get a duo of things from our friends over at Fleshlight. They sent us exactly what we could have dreamed of the Freaks Alien addition of the Fleshlight and the matching Dildo. An eerie blue glow comes from these two and for good reason, they are out of this world.
Details of the combo package
This is made of Fleshlights patented super skin material it feels very realistic, not that we know what sex with aliens is like. Fleshlight also recommends a water-based lubricant with their products. We say why the heck not? Some of our absolute favourite lubricants are water based and since we don’t know what silicone lubricant would do we would rather not risk it. We love the fact that the super skin feels super realistic. They recommend using their cleaning product and please don’t use soap as this will cause deterioration of the fleshlight. They also sell a restoring powder which we can’t say we have tried but sounds interesting.
The sleeve design with the controllable suction, we love this feature you can adjust however amount of suction as you desire. Since this one came reasonably well textured we have to say a little more suction worked well for it and you could feel the texture better at least in our opinion. It is a tad oddly weighted just because of what it is but thats not a bad thing at all.
The design of the alien was awesome and we have to say it was one of our favourite things but the Alien doesn’t rank as one my favorite fleshlights. A bright blue, triangularly shaped vulva was a perfect entrance to a whole new world of texture. We love when companies think outside the box and this was no exception. The texture inside was a perfect compliment and unlike the last one we had tried you could feel the texture almost immediately.
So as a set we got the Alien dildo as well, which from Mrs Teases perspective was absolutely huge. Made out of platinum grade silicone this toy is a lot of fun, with a double head for a more interesting experience. Since it is made out of silicone we have to say for you to please use a water based lubricant. A silicone based lubricant will cause warping and damage over time and thats no fun. Since it is silicone as well you can use hot soapy water to wash it or use the top of your dishwasher, it works wonders.
This is a relatively large toy at least for our experiences, however it is also highly ridged. We have had issues with things being ridged and the ridges being exceedingly hard and firm this was not the case with this Alien Dildo. It was not an overly firm silicone so it made the ridges comfortable and pleasurable. Its appearance of a split head made for an unique time, like we said a little large for our liking but still super enjoyable.
So what did we think? Well lets start with where we left off with the Dildo, Mrs Tease found if you warmed up to it it wasn’t bad. It was still exceptionally large for her at least but the texture made for an out of this world experience.
What can we say for Fleshlight? The actual Fleshlight was amazing as we have come to expect from them. The weirdest part, other than the bright blue alienness of it all, is that it smells great. We don’t know if this is from what the super skin is made of or what but we love it. We also found that unlike the other Fleshlight products we have tried that the texture of this one started almost immediately. This is a great thing for us as we are total texture people and that was the main problem we had with the last one we tried. We also used the warmer from fleshlight before use, and we have to say that if you don’t h ave one yet get one. This makes the experience so much more pleasurable to let it sit on the warmer for a few minutes before use, it’s like sliding into a nice hot wet pussy.
Well we would recommend the Fleshlight to anyone that is looking to jump outside the normal looking and try something different. If you like plain looking Fleshlights or masturabator’s then this is definitely not for you.
The Dildo we would recommend to anyone that is into size and texture as you will totally get that from this giant Alien. If you are not into size or are just trying things out or don’t like texture than this is probably not for you.
We we received the Fleshlight Freaks! Alien in exchange for review, to get one or both of these awesome toys please click this link. Thanks again for reading our Fleshlight Alien Review! If you’re looking for something a little more mainstream check out my Fleshlight Lisa Ann review.
When it comes to male toys, there’s one name that has become a pretty common household name. Hell, I bet you $10 your dear old granny has heard of the Fleshlight. Seriously, go ask her if you don’t believe me. Who can blame her though, they boast themselves to be ‘the worlds most popular male sex toy’, and honestly, I’d believe it. Who would have thought sticking your penis in a flashlight would have been such a novel idea? Well, someone did, and because I love you all so much I thought, “Well, I guess for my readers I’ll stick my dick in a flashlight.” (Warning: I in no way advocate you stick your penis into an ACTUAL flashlight!)
Intro to the toy
For this review I tested the Fleshlight girls: Lisa Ann model, mostly because I liked the inside design featured on the box. Most standard Fleshlight cases are the same size, all except the Fleshlight blade I believe. The standard case is approx 10 inches long, 4 inches across at the wider area, and 2.5 inches down the handle. Unless I’m mistaken, all the different inserts (non-blade) are universally interchangeable, which is very nice due to the amount of options there is. You can pick up everything from standard model to stamina trainers, vaginas to mouths to anuses, pornstar models to their “freaks” line with the likes of cyborg, alien, vampire, zombie and more. The insert is composed of a phthalate free combination of mineral oil and rubber polymers. The exact recipe is a closely guarded company secret, affectionately dubbed “SuperSkin”. The outside case is a hard plastic, and comes in a variety of different colour options, such as black, blue, white, pearl, silver and even clear (for those narcissistic masturbators). There are accessories you can purchase like shower mounts, iPad adapters, sleeve warmers etc that I did not test out in this review. The weight of the Fleshlight isn’t bad considering size and shape.
What I liked about the Lisa Ann fleshlight
So, the good? Let’s start there. The first time, and subsequently every time after that I opened this bad boy up, I noticed something very distinct. The smell! That’s right, this thing smells so good, the material they use is awesome to the touch, but AMAZING to the nose. Every single time I open this thing up, I spend at least a few minutes marvelling at the awesome aroma of this thing ( and I don’t care if that makes me weird!) I really wish all toys smelled this good.
When It comes to male stroker toys, I’m a texture kinda guy, and the more the better. The standard model, personally wouldn’t have been my thing texture wise, so I opted for this heavier involved insert. I’m actually quite glad I chose this model cause it works and works very well. It’s probably one of if not the best male strokers I have found yet. It’s insanely detailed, feels amazing, and really really works. I slipped this bad boy on and before I knew it, it was over. I’m not a hard guy to please, but there have been a lot of strokers that i could have easily fallen asleep while trying to get off. Not this one, this had me going, going, going and gone before I knew what hit me. Also, I can’t get over how well sculpted the outside vagina is, small touch, but I love the attention to detail.
What I didn’t like about the toy
It’s not all super peaches and roses in Fleshlight land though, but most all of my complaints are easily forgivable. First off, this thing gets cold, real cold. Knowing how much I do like this device, I will probably be ordering the warmer to go with it. If you don’t want to shell out the money though, a good bit of advice is to take the insert out and run it under hot water prior to use. If not, you will turn yourself junk into a penis-sicle. Please use warm water, and make sure you never boil or microwave this product, use your head guys! I also found I had to use a more than copious amount of a good water based lube, but that’s not a huge problem. After use, you can easily clean the Fleshlight with warm to hot water, no soap. The insert can easily be flushed, and if you absolutely need to give it a deep clean, a tiny bit of isopropyl alcohol will do the trick. Fleshlight also makes their own cleaner, fleshwater, that can be use in cleaning and care. Make sure you allow it to air dry afterward! While Fleshlight claims the material to be body safe, not knowing exactly the contents of the material could mean it could potentially be porous or even harbour mold… So please use every precaution and keep your toys clean! I would NOT RECOMMEND sharing this toy without a condom.
My only other real complaint with it is the insert I got, the texture part really doesn’t start right away, it’s very smooth and flat for the first bit before it moves on to the textured cavity. While this isn’t a huge problem, it would have been nice to see the texture come closer to the entrance of the toy.
My only other complaint was a personal one, having only seen the option to buy this model with a white case… But I guess it’s not a big deal. I just feel kinda of like I’m fucking a giant marshmallow flashlight, and I would have preferred black.
Price wise, i spent about $70 on mine, which I figure is a pretty good deal. I think I got more than my money’s worth, and would have been comfortable paying over $100 for it. I bought this item out of pocket, and if it mysteriously vanished, I probably would shell out the cash to pick up another.
So Fleshlight, how did we rank you? For texture I’d say 4/5, for price 5/5, for effectiveness 4/5, for marshmallowness 11/5, bulkiness 2/5, and for care and longevity 4/5. You did well, giant marshmallow fuckable flashlight, very well. I think I’ll keep you around. If you are looking for a good stroker, and you have the extra funds, I do recommend giving this one a shot. After all, how often can you say you fucked a pornstars flashlight vagina? Guess I can now.
I bought and paid for this item, and have in no way been compensated for it. My review would never be dishonest even I had been. As always, find me on Twitter @teasefortwo